Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Failing Test

I have decided that the Lord is trying to teach me patience.

I am failing. Miserably.

Literally, I am misearble. Why can't I be one of those people (aka my husband) who can just smile through anything? Oh wait, I would just annoy myself, probably not a good idea.

I just want to know where I'm going to live on June 6th- is that too much to ask? Oh, and for Liliana to take a nap without screaming. And for Moira to sleep better at night... A bag of WalMart peanut butter cups would be good too...

I don't want to move. I don't want to be in this house, but I don't want to move either. I hate change and it feels like it's being forced on me with no time to adjust. I don't want to pack (but unpacking is ok- so much more fun). I don't want to have to change our address on our our loans. I don't want to give up my calling in the primary. I don't want to make new friends or learn new roads.

But I will, if it's the right thing for our family. Doesn't make it easier, but I'll do it if it's right.

Being a grown up sucks.

4 comments:

Trish Olsen said...

hey, I am there with you. I had a hard time moving out here to Ajo, Especially while being pregnant. I didn't want to give up what i had know for so long, but after i had made the change I soon grew to really enjoy it out here. I hate how far it is away from doctors, hospitals and good stores but in the long run its the right place for our family. We feel safe here and that's what matters. Moving is the worse especially when you have small children but, in the long run it is all worth it :) i wish i was closer to you so that we could help you pack and move. I am here for you if you need to chat :)

Debbie's said...

You call THAT venting?? Call me any time and just dump it all on me :)
I love you- you'll get through this, and might even be happier with things in the end than you thought possible.

manda carol said...

Shawna you are not alone. Moving sucks!!! I know I have felt what you just wrote so many times. My goal everyday is to focus on today. Deal with what needs to be done today. Don't worry about what you did or didn't do yesterday or tomorrow. It is so much easier said than done. Hugs!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad someone else feels that way about being a non-patient mom. I suck at smiling through it all, but I'm still trying. Also, I decided I like change, just not transition...I hate it with a passion. But, you know what? It always leads to someone wonderful & so much better. I sure hope you find soemthing soon! Good luck!